Baby Grand, Baby Isaiah, and the Headache that Won’t Go Away

It has been two weeks now that our bathroom (at least half of it, that is) has been gutted. And, thankfully, since my last post, much progress has been made.

Just last night, I came home and was pleased to find pretty white tiles in place, a new fan and light installed above the shower, new handles and a very high-placed shower head (Nick was very pleased), and the ceilings all patched up.

With our Cleveland baby shower/Isaiah party coming up in a little over a week, I was beginning to feel some relief off my shoulders. There’s still a lot that needs to be done, but, literally, the dust has settled, some clean-up efforts have commenced, and Nick tried out the shower and reported that the water pressure was not perfect but was definitely better than the trickling down effect we had a few weeks ago.

So, all was well and good last night that we even began to play with our newest toy: a donated baby grand piano!

About two months ago, I was approached at work by a woman who asked if I knew of anyone who would want a baby grand piano – for free – and all that needed to be covered was transportation. She didn’t lie – it was in decent shape and hadn’t been tuned in years. Of course, my ears perked up at the sound of “free,” “piano,” and “grand.”

I took piano for a few years when I was a kid and, as my father predicted that I would, now regret that I didn’t stick with it. As an adult, it would be nice to have a musical vice. However, the scale lessons and hard practice hours I put in as a child were not entirely lost. My family is a piano family. My father and sister play by ear. Nearly everyone on my father’s side can play. To say that a piano is a filipino trademark would be an understatement. Nearly every wedding, gathering, reunion, funeral, or meeting involves a bit of the piano and belting out a song or two.

And so, you can imagine my excitement when the possibility of a baby grand fell into our laps.

A few weeks later, the transaction was final and the piano is now sitting in our living room. I hired a professional piano cleaner and tuner and he affirmed what I already suspected: the piano was in “wild” shape. AKA – it hadn’t been played and/or tuned for YEARS. That kind of neglect is destructive. Imagine a piano like a living body. If you don’t go out for a run or walk or if you don’t do anything but sit in a corner eating Twinkies, you’ll be out of tune as well.

And so, the long journey of repairing our Baby Grand has begun, which is perfect timing as I sing to Isaiah, teach him chords, and fine-tune his ear for the ivory keys. Baby Isaiah, I think, is loving it.

One of the instructions left by the piano cleaner was that we had to play the piano “hard” in the next few weeks and really get the keys moving around again. I made an emergency call to my sister, asking her to come over and play for a while because I am not nearly at the level she is. Even Nick is pitching in. Now, if you can imagine NICK, who may not know a xylophone from a french horn, trying to play the piano just to get it out of its rusty stage, you can understand why I’ve been doubled over, laughing my ass off in the kitchen when he plays.

He sits and plays the keys like he is taking a type writing course and then out of nowhere, he runs his left hand from the bottom to the top of the keys as if finishing off a Bach masterpiece. Oh, my dear spouse. He is such comedy.

So, last night, after I was fiddling with the piano while Nick was huffing and puffing going up and down the steps, clearing out furniture of the soon-to-be nursery when I hear an extremely rare, “You’ve got to be shitting me!” from Nick.

My first thought, “He either found a rat or there’s another leak in the kitchen.”

The ceilings in the bathroom and kitchen HAD JUST BEEN SEALED and I was looking forward to new coat of paint and moving forward in our showering amenities.

For one moment, in all honesty, I almost preferred that he spotted a rat.

I walk into the kitchen to see my hubs staring at the ceiling and, sure enough, there were droplets plopping down onto our newly cleaned floor.

I nearly crumbled in frustration.

As if on cue (I have an emotional reaction, Nick moves into action), our contractor is called and comes right over and accesses the situation. After about 20 minutes of rooting around, he reports it can be fixed first thing in the morning, but he does need to cut out the kitchen ceiling again.

At this point, I am staring like a zombie at the television, wondering if we’ll ever get our lives back.

Even the sight of our baby grand, even the feel of Baby Isaiah kicking his disapproval couldn’t remove our frustration and disappointment of the new deadline: FRIDAY.

Remember, this entire job was supposed to be done LAST WEDNESDAY. ONE WEEK AGO.

But, at least, we are able to shower and I took my inaugural shower this morning and it is quite lovely. I would just love to be able to clean again, move our kitchen out of the dining room, and get ready for more important things.

The saga continues.

Diffusing the Anger

Today was the deadline for our bathroom to be finished.

I was planning on a phat post about how awesome our lives are, complete with a brand new tub, tiles, and fan, rejuvenated and clear pipes, and a fresh toilet seat on top.

That is not the headline of today’s post.

If Nick gets to a level of annoyance, that means that I am approaching warning levels of volcanic eruption. I cannot believe how long and annoying this process is. At this very moment, I am listening to drills, sawing, and a very loud radio in the background to keep the workers entertained. At this very moment, as they start to clean up at 5:06pm, the bathroom is fit for someone along the lines of Jason Voorhees.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I have a tender heart. I’m a nice person. I understand that things come up, deadlines are pushed back, people work their fannies off and still things don’t always come together as planned. But, just follow how this whole situation has affected me this past week. Remember, Nick is still going to work with luggage for his showers. As if that isn’t exasperating enough to watch him truck off to work with a piece of carry-on baggage.

1) The dustbowl that is our house has flared up some allergens that make my eyes itch and throat constrict with coughing.

2) The accessible toilets in our house are on floors 1 and 3. Our bedroom is on floor 2. Which means for pregnant persons, like myself who get up in the middle of the night, one must be fairly alert to navigate the stairs. By the time I get myself back into bed, I am wide awake.

3) Interrupted sleep is making me very, very tired.

4) Isaiah doesn’t like this routine and so HE is very, very tired.

5) I am showering at work and must pack a bag everyday complete with shower sandals and extra towels. It looks like I’m moving into my work office.

And so my friends, it’s difficult for me to remain my positive self when all I want to do is scream, “GET THIS JOB DONE AND CLEAN UP THIS MESS! I’M 6 MONTHS PREGNANT!”

Sunday Blues

Depression resulting from sports-related issues certainly cannot be resolved overnight.

I know this for a fact because it is Sunday afternoon and I am still moping over OSU’s loss last night to USC. I’m normally not an advocate of bottling away emotions without properly processing them first, but, in this case, I think it’s better for everyone in my life, especially Nick, if I just move on as best as I can and deal with the blemish on the Buckeye’s early football record.

When my sister was a highschool senior, their graduating class’ senior tshirts were custom designed for the class of 1993 and on the back it just read: Seniors rule. Deal with it.

I think I should make a similar tshirt for myself that reads: We had that game but we lost. Deal with it.

Beyond football frenzy 2009, Nick and I have had a lovely weekend of hanging out with friends, attending our neighborhood block party, and sleeping in. This morning we attended a pre-baptismal training class which Nick both led as the Pastoral Associate and participated as a soon to be parent.

It’s always fun getting the opportunity to watch your spouse in a different role, a role outside of the house. Not surprisingly he was great at making sure everyone’s little bundle of joys were on the right path to their first sacrament.

Our little saint, Isaiah, has been stretching his limbs and tumbling around like an Olympian. Sleep has been a bit finicky for me lately and some days I just feel like I just need a comfy chair to lie down in. Others days I am rip roaring with energy.

Today is a lay low kind of day. Nick is working. I can’t take any more football this weekend. And our house is a dustbowl of disaster because of the bathroom demolition.

I am hoping by the end of the day my Buckeye-induced sadness will have dissipated.

Here’s hoping…

The Weird Reasons

I haven’t forgotten about this blog — really, I haven’t.

Maybe there are some things that are forgotten with a pregnant brain (a lot of pregnant women report scatter-mindedness and forgetfulness), but writing and this blog are not one of them.

This week, albeit a shortened week because of the holiday, has been really WEIRD.

Here’s one reason: our bathroom tub and walls are getting ripped out. The bathroom ceiling has been taken out. In the kitchen, if you look up through the ceiling hole, you can see to the top of the bathroom ceiling/3rd floor base. That’s right. From the first floor, you can see straight up to the second floor.

That means an ungodly amount of dust has settled in the nooks and crannies of our house and I am hacking away like it’s the middle of Spring. Poor Isaiah has been tumbling all around when I cough. I think he thinks I’m perpetually choking.

Also, work has turned up the heat on both Nick and I in our respective employment offices. We’re both getting up early to shower at work (we both have access to shower facilities) because we’re obviously without a tub and unless we want to hose each other down on our front lawns, getting up early and showering elsewhere is the only way to stay respectably clean. And our workload has generally increased. We’re busy bees these days.

In the meanwhile my stomach looks like a rising circus tent ready to enfold anyone who comes near it. I’ve noticed that the floor creaks when I walk on it now. Dude, I feel like a slowly expanding hot air balloon, except I don’t get to fly.

Other weird news is that OSU football season has started and WHAT WAS THAT NEAR LOSS TO NAVY AS THE SEASON OPENER? Not a convincing win. That did not put anyone at ease. And so, this Saturday against USC, has us in a quiet nervous state. We don’t want to talk about it because the intensity is just that heavy for us.

Weird reason #3, our kitchen stuff is in the dining room. Because of the ceiling hole, we had to clear out the kitchen and move everything into the dining hall. Correction: NICK had to clear out the kitchen and move everything into the dining hall. We have no place to eat and so we keep eating random foods like cereal and granola bars to stay alive and ordering out which we rarely do because we think it’s usually a waste of money.

Weird reason #4, my pregnant brain is getting uber introverted these days. That means less blogging, less writing. THIS is not a good thing, as I need to be writing everyday to stay in good practice.

Weird reason #5, REGISTERING FOR ISAIAH IS THE BIGGEST PAIN IN THE ASS AND WE KEEP TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH WE HATE IT.

Weird reason #6…Did I mention how we have to shower at work? That means NICK IS BRINGING A SUITCASE TO WORK TO CHANGE CLOTHES.

Overall, this week just needs to end.

Like, now-ish….

Charleston, Abby, and the Yellow Bug

The truth of the matter is that life is complex. Life is complicated and busy as a pesky summer bee.

I feel that is all I can say after I look at the unimpressive amount of blogging done in the past few weeks. And sometimes I get so behind in this particular blog that I end up just drifting by important events – like the Charleston trip – without really showing the true brilliant colors of the experience.

So, let’s just start with what’s most recent: this past weekend.

Nick headed to Russia with his family immediately after Charleston for Abby Cordonnier’s wedding, his cousin, and I flew home to Cleveland to work two days before joining him in Russia. The two days were uneventful and full of sleepy catch-up days in the real world. Charleston is kinda magical. I felt like the architecture of the south has some sort of time-travel element built into its columns and bricks. I felt like I was in Gone with the Wind, Sweet Home Alabama, or Forest Gump at times. The houses were just beautiful. Our time there was filled with a lot of beach, exploration, Tripoly, and an euchre tourney.

But, we eventually returned to the real world and headed to Abby’s wedding. It was beautiful, as anticipated.

One thing I noticed is that I am getting much better at being on time for a wedding than I used to be. Now that the Borchers house is getting more and more snug with an expanding family, I have learned when to aggressively hog the shower first in the morning and iron my clothes before everyone else notices they need these amenities. With me, Nick, ( + Baby), Kelly, Tim, Jay, Keith, and his girlfriend Anna, it’s a tight run ship on Voisard street. Luckily, after 4 years of marriage and about 6-7 years of Russia trips, I’ve learned a few tricks to being on time.

Abby and Marcus’ wedding stood out for a few reaons, but like I’ve written before, there’s always one thing that will catch my attention. For this wedding, it was the speeches. Quite possibly, this wedding had the best speeches I’ve ever heard overall. And there were plenty – both of Abby’s parents spoke, Marcus’ father, the matron of honor, best man, and even Abby and Marcus themselves spoke. That’s a lot of talking and very impressive for each and every one to hold the attention of the audience with their wit, insight, and words. Bravo!

When I got home, Nick had to scoot off to work for a meeting and I decided to weed and prune some landscaping outside. I guess this was sorely needed because FOUR different neighbors stopped by to tell me what a great job I was doing and how wonderful it was that I was spending so much time taking care of our landscaping. Soon, the 30 minutes I had planned for myself became a 2.5 hour vendetta and I stopped only when Nick came home from his meeting and the sun had all but disappeared.

As Nick happily reviewed my hard work and the piles of branches, twigs, and greenery set out for pick-up, he threw his arm around my shoulder, “Great work, babe!”

I smiled an exhausted smile and mumbled how I wanted to go to bed.

Then he said, “Hey, what’s lighting up inside your shirt?”

I looked down to see a curious yellow light blinking, sandwiched between my green tank top and skin. All my gardening tools crashed on the driveway as I yelped and screamed and nearly tore my shirt in my frantic attempts to get whatever was in my shirt off my skin. Images of spiders, centipedes, and event tarantulas flooded my brain.

As a lightning bug innocently flew away from my shirt, Nick whooped a hearty laughter and picked up my gardening tools scattered on the ground. Too tired to tell him to stop laughing at me, I headed inside and collapsed on the couch.

Next weekend: Stacy Condon’s wedding and golf tourney for the Borchers clan.

Ode to Nick


Nick is man who works hard
There’s nothing he can’t do
He drills into new tasks
and does what he puts his mind to

Nick is man who works on taxes
and brings them to H&R block
But it’s Nick who corrects
the Block’s mistakes – oh, really, what a shock!

Nick is man who works on our bathroom
the sorrowful sight that it is
But Nick takes pride in accomplishment
and owns every task as his

So, cheers to you, Saint Nicholas
I’m very grateful for all that you do
Not just for the taxes and paint peels
But just because you’re you

Popcorn in Bed

There is a gaping hole in our kitchen ceiling and it is atrocious.

Our contractor had to rip it out because our noggins were endangered of having the thing collapse on us.

So, Bob, our very own Mr. Fixit, is kind and generous enough to help us through this problem. It’s going to be finished at the end of the week. I can’t wait because every time I stand in front of the refrigerator it feels like I am about to be sucked into a huge vortex of darkness and leaky pipes above.

The joys of homeownership. Nothing is better.

In other news…

Last night was an unusual night. I had a late meeting for a potential and temporary short term job and came home around 9:30pm. I chatted on the phone for an hour or so with my lovely sister in law and figured, with a quick peak at our shut bedroom door and the sound of the space heater, that Nick was already sleeping, passed out like the old man he is.

So you can imagine my surprise as I head upstairs after I was done talking to Kelly and my phone rings. And it’s ringing Nick’s ringtone.

Nick is still out to tell me he’s on his way home. If he’s still out, who in the hell is in our bedroom?

And the door swings open and it’s bleary-eyed Nick, cell phone in his hand.

YOU GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK. WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME WHEN YOU ARE ONE ROOM AWAY?

“Oh, hi, babe. I was wondering where you were. I was getting worried.”

HEY MR. SHARPIE – I’VE BEEN HOME FOR AN HOUR.

“Really? I didn’t hear you.”

So, I give him an odd look and get ready for bed.

As I snuggle into my side of the bed and begin drifting off to sleep, Nick speaks clearly as if it’s the middle of the day, “I’m wide awake.”

“Well, this is certainly a role reversal.” I just want to get to sleep, but know it’s not going to happen.

“Maybe I should eat something,” Nick muses.

“If how I feel right now is what you felt the entire first year we were married when I kept yapping my head off because I wanted to talk, this is my way of apologizing right now and I swear I’ll never do that again.”

“I will go eat something,” he decides.

“Fine. There’s some popcorn I just made sitting out downstairs if you want that.”

Now, if you know ANYTHING about Nick and popcorn, you know that popcorn is not just another snack like, say, Pringles or M&Ms. Popcorn, in the Borchers family, is eaten in a rather methodical, non-stop robotic nothing can interrupt my rhythm, kind of way.

So you can imagine my surprise, slight annoyance when I am drifting off to sleep and all of a sudden I hear the clank of a glass (filled with sprite and ice, I’m sure) hitting the side table near our bed followed by Nick easing onto his side of the bed and I hear the back and forth of hand-bucket-stuff into mouth -hand-bucket-stuff into mouth – hand-bucket-stuff into mouth rhythm. All in the background is the distinct sound of Nick chewing the grains and fluff of salty popcorn.

I flipped over, “Are you eating in bed?”

I can’t see him in the dark but I hear the crunching continue, “Yup.”

My tiredness turns into sarcasm, “Is it good?” referring to the popcorn. I try not to think of the crumbs, particles, and oil that are going to get on our sheets or on me because of this late night snack.

“Mhm- MHM!”

With the dark veiling my face, Nick could not see me roll my eyes. I just laid on my back and waited for him to finish the bucket. It didn’t take long. For Nick to finish a bucket of popcorn, it never does.

As I heard him clap his salty hands and throw the excess on the ground because I know he doesn’t believe in napkins, I closed my eyes for much needed rest.

Sure enough, he falls asleep.

The Radiators

Our house is throwing a tantrum.

About a week ago, Nick and I woke up to a cold house and cool radiators.

Sometime in the middle of the night, the boiler decides to shut down.

Terrific.

AND

We woke up early to take our car in because the check engine light turned on.

Double YAY.

So, we drop off the car, and then walk back around 7:45am in the dark to our house. On the way we talk about really bright subjects like our cold house and the fact we’re leaving on a trip tomorrow and we need to get it fixed because our pipes may freeze and we really then have screwed ourselves over and all this will happen when we’re in Pennsylvania. The sidewalks are ice and the morning refuses to look promising.

Nick skates off to work and I warm my head in a hat and dial the home insurance people with freezing fingers. I’m sure you remember our garbage disposal debacle – where we had to pay $75 after the guy found the RECHARGE button under our sink – and today was another glorious episode.

After Mr. Fixit comes in and does a lot of mhm and hmmmmmmmm and “weellllll” with a flashlight in his mouth, Nick (who came home) and I were pacing the basement and praying he didn’t say, “You need a new boiler.”

I go upstairs and nervously eat my feelings. The rice krispie treat laying on a plate becomes my victim. While I’m munching on sugar at 9:30am, I hear a sharp and not happy laugh come from the basement.

I hop down the stairs and Mr. Fixit asks me, “What’d you do?”

Confused, I almost blurted out that I ate my feelings with a rice krispie treat but then Nick interjects, “It just turned on. Did you do anything upstairs?”

Other than eat a treat?

“Are you serious?”

“It just turned on and he can’t find anything wrong with it.” Nick and I stare at each other. My temper is flaring as the boiler is spitting itself alive with heat expanding through our house.

I am so pissed, stunned, and relieved that I stomp up the stairs while Nick calls out, “Can you make the check out?”

Another $75. I am absurdly angry.

Then the boiler kicks off again and thus began a three hour visit from Mr. Fixit. Nick takes him all around the house to all the different radiators and when he walks up to our chilly 3rd floor, he gets down on his hands and knees to inspect the thing, and I shit you not, gives the radiator mouth to mouth.

I almost burst out laughing. Instead, I excused myself and got myself together in another room and then wandered back into the room. He was still blowing air from his mouth into the radiator. Apparently this is an old method for starting it up again.

Well, whatever, it started!

And then he proceeded to give mouth to mouth to many other dead radiators who jumped back to life after some human interaction.

Our third floor is like a toasty little oven. I have called it our new apartment because we made it our TV room/weekend getaway/cottage. It’s big and has its own full bathroom. Why use the rest of the house? It’s so warm and we’ve never gone up there so it feels all brand new to us.

Now that the radiators are in full blast, they wheeze and blow up a storm when they’re hard at work. So, the other night when the radiator in our bedroom went head to head with a -20 degree night, I woke up and had to PUT EARPLUGS in to drown out all the racket.

Ahhh, but our third floor is our safe haven right now against the brutal assault of winter.

And then the check engine light came on again in our car.

Sometimes, I really hate being an adult.

Our Garbage Disposal

has been acting up and I hate when it looks like someone vomited in the sink and I have no ability to drain it.

With that lovely image in your minds, Nick and I called our house insurance folks to have someone come and take a look at why it’s simply not turning on. And why, all of a sudden, is our dishwasher not draining?

So, Mr. Fixit marches in and peers down with a flashlight while I am explaining how stumped Nick and I are about why it’s like this.

We reaches underneath the sink and flips a button that says RESTART.

It gurgles free.

“That’ll be $75.”

Home Depot 101

Now comes the moment in every homeowner’s life where one has to drive to the most dreaded place on the planet (other than Walmart or Best Buy) – HOME DEPOT.

Nick has told me that we may have plaster walls and why don’t I research how to hang frames on such walls. I nodded my agreement to his face but inside felt like telling him that, truthfully, I’d much rather eat an unwashed beet from a pesticide infested garden than research anything about plaster walls.

The internet is a constantly shifting mirage of information – it LOOKS like there is a lot of information, but sometimes you’re better off on your own and dealing with someone face to face. This led me to Home Depot. Loaded with the phrase TOGGLE BOLT, I jetted to the nearest Home Depot, with graceful directions from Moses, our trusted GPS.

So, with Moses in the car, I was able to find Home Depot and even avoid getting hit by rocks as I passed a group of children launching small pebbles at passing cars on the street. I am not used to Cleveland children yet.

Home Depot is, in a word, absurd. That building is the most ridiculous place on the planet. Walking through the front doors, I noticed people just hanging out, looking as if they were going to greet me – all wearing Home Depot bibs and dirt on their hands. No greeting.

My face was one blank canvas as I navigated this universe of doors, appliances, wires, and screws. There is every kind of imaginable bolt nestled in an aisle the size of a bowling alley. My stomach starting hurting from the impending anxiety. No one was around to help. Ugh, I began resenting homeownership.

One thing I noticed about Home Depot is that nearly EVERYONE is standing still. Everyone is, like, PAUSED in front of something and just staring at a screw, sliding glass door, or garage door opener as if they don’t know what to do. I looked the part as I stood, stunned and indecisive, in front of the toggle bolt section wondering how my life had come to pass so that I have to understand the safe hanging strategies for plaster walls.

Luckily, I can read and do math and ended up choosing two packages. This was after I perused the carpet aisle, laundry washers, window treatments, and door replacements.

No one helped me except Rebecca in the laundry washer area who kept persuading me to purchase GE’s newest and brightest machine at $700 because I would save so much money later in the water bill with its energy efficiency. Right.

And so, I went home and tried to put up curtain rods and started a long crack in one of the wooden panels of the window. Oh brother. Nick had to demonstrate how to put pressure into a screw so I don’t flatter the head with each of my pathetic twists and grab the stepper so I can reach the top of the panel.

I totally understand now why everyone says that owning a home is a lifelong project. At this rate, it may be Christmas before I can get the blinds and curtains up.