La Verdad

There is always someone who will disagree with me. This lesson, I must learn. Fortunately, that is the happy luck of being a writer: my message isn’t measured by how many disagree or how many agree. Alas, my dear pets, the only barometer is my own Truthometer – how much of my own Truth is expressed.

I do believe there is one Truth. Before you go thinking I’m a neo-conservative freak, I also happen to believe that it is infinitely impossible for any of us to grasp it; in its beauty, in its simplicity, in its depth. “Truth,” as Punctious Pilat once asked, “What is that?”

You see? Even when standing inches from the big JC, this person could not recognize Truth. Be not mistaken, this is not about anti-Semitism. It is about our gloriously innate inability to see truth, even when it is in front of us.

Today, I caught up with a few friends on the phone. One friend in D.C. struggling with the transient and nomadic lifestyle she has chosen. Another in Boston choosing a new job, new location. My NYC friends deciding over lovers, which medication to take for strep throat, or if Craig’s list is all that reliable. Another Cincinnati amiga wondering when the world will recognize her gay life as beautiful. Another whose father had open heart surgery but keeps dancing to Sir Mix Alot’s Baby Got Back. My Hawaiian sistah is going back to her partner who used the L-word last week.

I listen deeply to my friends. They are reflective, pained, and wild. I choose them carefully. My friends, like myself and the rest of the human race, oscillate between choosing what is Truth and almosTruth in their lives. Sometimes we choose the untrodden pathway but keep the clear one in sight in case of…in case. Under fear, my friends tend to doubt, question, and tremble their thoughts into anxiety. They ask me what I think, what is my opinion. Irrelevant, I say. What I think is irrelevant. And then I give it anyway.

My friends remind me how beautiful emotion is, how raw and untamed feelings run. Their voices are like quiet streams when they cry and roaring lionesses when betrayed. Particularly when confused, emotion seeps out to reveal Truth in some way. Their stories remind me of what is true in this crazy mudball called Earth.

So, a tribute to the Truth-seeking, irreplaceable, soul-shaking, wonderfully inconvenient companions in my life: a few quotes from the past several weeks. You keep me real and gasping. You keep me Truthful. Thank you.

“I shouldn’t have let him go.”

“I know it’s right because…because…I just know.”

“I’m eating, walking, and waiting for the train as I talk to you. My life is too much.”

“My father ignores it all and hopes it goes away.”

“I wanted mid-day sex. Thank God I wore a skirt.”

“Don’t you think that’s a defense mechanism?”

“Should I go home? No! I shouldn’t. But, wait, why am I here?”

“Gretchen said not to tell you because you’d be jealous.”

“Dustin drove into a pole. I’m glad he’s alright, but really, what an idiot.”

“People are settling down. They’re married. With children! I’m a barista.”

“Highschool. I was, like, an eternal fifth wheel.”

“I’ll tell you what the world doesn’t need: another person trying to be something they are not.”

“I had no idea he was doing all this just so his cousin could try to sell me a friggin rug.”

“Having children? No, I don’t think so. They just…no.”

“She slept with Steve. What a bitch. I’m so jealous.”

“How could you see that movie? How could you support that actor?”

“I am sorry. I am sorry for all the suffering I caused.”

“I guess, but I don’t know how else I would have done it. I have no regrets.”

“Send me something. I need to make this place a home.”

“Is there one person who has never missed an ex? It’s inhuman not to.”

“I can’t describe her. She’s amazing…No, I can’t describe her.”

“I made a garden. I grow snow peas. I grow things.”

“Nothing could have changed how incompatible we were. Nothing.”

“They pay for in vitro. How can I walk away from that?”

“We’re so connected. I could feel you coming closer.”

“I’m having an affair.”

“You’re right. I’m right. They’ll never, never understand me.”

“This is ridiculous. I love you.”

“Even I’m getting teary-eyed. What the hell?”

“I’m leaving to go play Frisbee with Chris on the National Mall. What are you doing?”

“I’m at a rock concert.”

“I’m at Day 2 of the Bar Exam: I’m gonna pass this thing.”

“I’m heading to Jason’s boss’ birthday party. Doesn’t that sound exciting?”

“I’m at work. Where else would I be?”

“I’m at a wedding in Alaska.”

“Still in Boston.”

“I’m packing.”


“I just got back from hiking a volcano in Kuaia.”


All to which I always respond, “I refuse to hear anything that makes you doubt yourself. I believe in you. I believe in your life. Live it and live it well.”

The Voice

In the most recent issue of Time magazine, there is a devastatingly important article about novelists. Read it. Basically, it highlights the great writers of the past – Hemingway, Fitzgerald, etc. – and the author of this article wonders aloud as to why there has not been an emerging Voice from our generation (those under 40) that speaks about what it is like to live and be in this generation.

At a service I attended on Sunday, the day before I read the article, the homelist drove a point home about the need to be prophetic – to read the signs of the times and articulate what is happening to our lives, our society, and our planet.

So, I started a crazy project two nights ago. I made a very long list of things that have impacted my generation, events and trends that I believe significant to the molding of my generation. See if something is missing, tell me about it and write me.

In no particular chronological order or correct spelling:

  • The internet, computer explosion: google, email, blogging, ebay
  • Reality shows: dating, swapping lives, adventure races, voyeurism
  • Increase in divorces
  • Increase in depression and medication
  • Body piercing
  • Tattoos
  • Coffee shops
  • Iraq War
  • Columbine
  • 9/11
  • Film documentaries
  • 2000 election
  • Homosexuality, same sex unions
  • Immigration
  • Abortion and state power
  • Delayed adolescents of middle/upper class
  • Gangs
  • Plastic surgery
  • Botox
  • Breast augmentation
  • Youth obsessed
  • Eating Disorders and Disordered Eating
  • Campaigns against tobacco and second hand smoke
  • In vitro
  • New pope
  • Searching for a sense of belonging
  • 8 minute dating
  • Pills and plans to stop/eliminate menstruation
  • Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky
  • Katrina
  • Tsunami
  • Michael Jordan and the Bulls
  • WNBA
  • Women’s World Cup Soccer Team
  • Cell phones
  • Ipods
  • Rise in obesity
  • Inter-race/religion/culture relationships
  • Rise in women in the workforce
  • Delayed age in heterosexual marriage
  • Groups of employees winning the lottery
  • Info-mercials
  • Bilingual education
  • Organic food
  • Bottled water
  • vegetarian, vegan diets
  • lactose intolerance
  • rise in STD/STIs
  • Yoga, spinning
  • Remake origingal movies and songs
  • NASCAR
  • credit cards
  • student loans
  • Digital revolution
  • Cable
  • laptops
  • electronic calendars and office gadgets
  • terrorism
  • AIDS
  • celebrity worship and obsession
  • OJ simpson trial
  • Court TV
  • Race riots
  • Oprah
  • Cloning
  • Rise in community service
  • Enron
  • DNA
  • Rise in spirituality
  • Decrease in organized religion
  • Sex abuse scandal in Catholic church
  • Bill Gates and Microsoft
  • Rise in entrepreneurialship
  • Airbrushing
  • Harry Potter
  • TV show Friends
  • Rise in going to college
  • Challenger explosion
  • Cold war ending
  • Berlin Wall
  • Fascination with extraterrestial life
  • Humanitarian aid other parts of the world
  • Outsourcing
  • Chains everywhere – McDonalds, Walmart
  • More cars
  • Bigger homes
  • Decrease in traditional family units
  • Superhero movies – Batman, Spiderman
  • Animated movies
  • Rise in fundamentalism, conservative
  • Same sex families and marriages
  • Longer life expectancy
  • 90210
  • DaVinci Code
  • Decrease in carpooling
  • Global warming
  • Earth Day
  • Condoleeza Rice and Hilary Clinton
  • Online pornography
  • TV talent searches
  • Boy bands
  • Country music
  • Extreme Sports
  • Decline in Olympics watching
  • Rise in gas prices
  • Animal rights
  • Atkins, South Beach
  • Whiter, straighter teeth obsession
  • Welfare to Work
  • No Child Left Behind
  • Vintage, Old School, Antiques trends
  • Spelling Bees
  • Sensationalized murder/missing persons: Elizabeth Smart, Jon Benet, Lacey Peterson
  • Book deals for anyone involved in anything controversial