What Would Happen If I Were Pregnant

This week I thought I might be pregnant.
This week I thought about what that would mean.

I thought about bringing another life into the world,
and I laughed.

I must be crazy.

Those shoes at Tannery are too expensive so I pass them buy.
Who’s honking at me?
There’s the windsurfer guy again.

What would happen if I were pregnant?

She’s staring at me.
Another CVS.
Free the Jena 6 banner hung on a building.

I can’t fathom a life growing inside me.

My feet are beginning to hurt.
That man acted so annoyed when I asked him for the time.
What percentage of the walkers plugs their ears with white Ipod wires to drown out the world?

Is it true you can’t eat sushi if you’re pregnant?
Everyone would be so excited.
Could I be excited once I get past my fear?

What if I can’t make enough space in my life for a child?
What will this child learn from me?
What if I die?

How will we do this?

I heard sausage is sheathed in animal intestine.
There are many asians on this street.
Down with Walgreens.

I want my body to belong to me.
How can I be so selfish?
This child will be Brown.

What will change?
Everything I know.

I walk further down Boylston and wonder what everyone else is thinking.

"SOLE" Mates

If and when Nick and I have children, we know this much is true:

S/he will have some seriously messed up feet and ankles.

Nick came home last week and his right ankle was so swollen it looked like he had accidentally swallowed a baseball and it was lodged in his ankle. A doctor and a physical therapist visit later, Nick has been given a series of exercises and stretches to strengthen it. Better to strengthen it now, the doctor explained, than to wait until you’re older and there’s nothing he can do about it.

Mhm. That medical advice sounds familiar. OH YES, I remember now – I told him that exact same thing about 287 times over the past 2 years. “Fix it now, it’ll be harder later on.”

He’s mobile and it doesn’t hurt much, but his ankle’s still pretty huge.

In the fourth grade, I had to wear orthopedic shoes to correct two extra bones in my feet. I have absurdly flat feet and the extra bones, located on the inside of my feet, can’t take much pressure and so I wore huge corrective brown shoes for my entire fourth grade year. Everyone called me, “Grandma” and I cried off and on for a year. Finally, the humiliation was too much and I put my Grandma shoes away, sabotaging my future of having any sort of a life with normal feet. If I had known then that my future husband would have severe ankle problems and by not fixing my own feet problems I would be jeopardizing our children’s future, I may have tried to stick it out with my orthopedic footware.

Despite our failing feet, things continue to go splendidly here in Boston. This past weekend, we had visitors. An old college roommate, Cara Hansen, was passing through and we met up for drinks. Nick’s aunt and uncle, Andy and Linda Meyer, were celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary here in Boston and we had a great evening in Harvard Square and stopping for a drink at Cheers.

Familiar faces are always welcome! Book soon and frequently.

CORA SUBMISSION

Please remember that tomorrow is the deadline to submit for the next edition of

the Carnival of Radical Action: Revolutionary Change

and I’m hosting it!

So, get moving and submit…

Thou Shalt Not be Ashamed

BA, some of your personal quotes washed over me as I read these lines.

This is taken from a poem by Cherrie Moraga, “It Got Her Over.”

She had never been ashamed of her face.

Her lust, yes
Her bad grammar, yes
but never, her face
recently taken to blushing
as if the blood wanted
to swallow
the flesh.

Seriously Football

If you know the Borchers side at all, meaning, if you know Nick at all, you know that autumn means two reliefs come into our lives: cooler weather and Ohio State Football.

There are football fans and then there are Football Fans.

Nick is a FOOTBALL FAN.

As he is now 2 weeks into theologizing, if that’s a word, his mind for the next five years, I sometimes worry that he’ll begin to take life too seriously. Seriously, talking about Augustine and the ethical facets of Rwandan genocide are definitely not the most light of topics.

So we watch Tiger and boo Phil, laugh at 0-2 Michigan, and wag our index finger at Belichek. I like to think that sports, sometimes, provides a nice break from the seriousness of our lives. I also think he likes to pretend he doesn’t take sports as seriously as he did before, but when I hear:

[couch slap] “GOSH DANGIT BENGALS, why don’t you at least try to block once in while?”

I begin to wonder,

is he getting proper respite?

So, I worry about the level of fun in our lives and try to make sure we have appropriate levels of sarcasm and pop culture to balance us out. I had him sit in front of our new baby – the laptop we just purchased (which we LOVE) – that has all sorts of fancy gadgets. We started experimenting with the distortion tools and we couldn’t stop laughing.

Now, if Michigan goes to 0-3 against the Irish today, you’ll hear our guffawing from Boston.

Classifieds: WOC Seeking Debater

Womyn of Color seeks sharp and stimulating Debater. Are you trying to cleanse yourself about your place in the feMovement? Are you hoping to share your rage, joy, findings with a curious stranger needing to debate the angles and finagling of feminism? Are you convinced in your position that the feMovement should be abandoned? Are you convinced that the feMovement is exactly where we ALL need to be? Do you have a self-def for your womyn-centered activism? Are you looking to convince someone of your stance and reasoning? If so, contact Sudy, an unusually deep sleeper who woke up, literally, screaming in the middle of the night, wondering, wandering, afraid she was lost. And upon further reflection this morning, decided that she is and therefore needs to find her home in or away from Feminism. Contact for further details.