Father’s Day

When I was a little girl and exhausted, my father used to pick me up and let me sleep on his shoulder. In grocery stores or boring adult gatherings, he’d hold me while I drifted off into my own world. Just to be close, I’d sometimes lift my arms just so he’d let me rest my head. My dad would always lovingly oblige. Knowing sometimes that I was feigning sleep, he’d pretend to scold my siblings and all who could hear, “Everybody, don’t you know ****’s trying to sleep? Everybody quiet! SHH!” It didn’t matter who was around, he’d tell the world to be quiet for me.

It always made me feel that I was the most important thing to my Dad.

He does this now with his grandchildren and I remember it with such tenderness, I often want to cry.

My conservative father doesn’t know that I blog, he’ll likely never read this. But I hope he knows despite our many differences, both big and small, I hope he knows his feminist daughter still loves him, deeply.

Happy Father’s Day.

Love, Shaoloo

Pride Alive 2007

I debate, often, to myself over whether or not to display my photography. I take up issues that woc are rarely represented in the places I go, events I shoot, and affairs I attend. I think much of that debate is internally stunting, because, in the Midwest, there isn’t much diversity, PERIOD. Or at least, not visually or outwardly.

My shrinking bank of energy keeps saying, “Take what you can get. Take what you can get.” And I decided to post my photos of the Pride Alive Rally and Parade that took place in my city over the weekend. The energy was high, the turnout was…better than previous years, I guess you can say. I offered a lift to two strangers on the sidewalk who looked like they were going to melt in the sun as they were strategizing their transportion. As we talked about what brought us to the event that day, he suddenly began making self-depracating jokes about his obesity. At a red light, I stopped my car, turned and looked into his face. He looked backed into mine and something clicked. Loudly.

Movements bring us together. We may struggle with representation, we may struggle with difference. But I concluded that I have spent much of my life wanting things differently than how they actually were, and I’ve missed opportunities to connect with people because of much of my solitary ruminating and pragmatic wishlists.

My movement is with womyn of color. His may be something else entirely, but we found each other that day and we drew laughter, brief connection, and relief in our converation. I stand and am proud to be Brown and alive. And while the flying colors of the Pride day didn’t represent what my exact struggles are, the oppression that digs its heal into our throats is the same: the anti-difference, the indifference, and discrimination against the marginalized. I am proud to be standing, fighting, for equality. I am proud.

 

 

 

 
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